Well. Everything basically ended two weeks ago.
A week ago I understood the terms and conditions of my termination.
Today I understand that the contract I signed hadn’t had the second signature I needed…. but apparently the offer isn’t off the table.
Going from happy to unhappy to mildly depressed to whathefuckishappeningtomylife will knock the wind out of a person.
I feel like many of the people I love took their fists and blew out my chest themselves.
And right when I get to a point of, ‘I get it, you all are looking out for you, lemme follow suit before I’m destroyed by my mangled, unmanaged expectations’, I’m again pulled into this annoying, sick dynamic of my babying other people’s egos and pride and sense of what the world is.
And I can’t selfishly indulge myself to block out the truth like everyone always does. Like I’ve always done.
I have to face it in it’s ugly glory because it’s facing me.